Breaking the Generational Cycle of Unhealthy Conflict
Gil Harrison, or “Mr. Gil,” as his families affectionately call him, sees his work at Beech Brook as an opportunity to use his own personal skill set – communication, empathy, and authenticity, to name a few – as a way to help others better themselves. But it’s not only about the children – his work extends to the whole family.
As a Clinical Behavioral Specialist in Beech Brook's REACH program, Gil always keeps a focus on the family because the family is where real change can happen for the child. At the moment, Gil is working with a 12-year-old girl, Shannon, who can be impulsive, angry and defiant. After meeting her family, Gil was able to see that Shannon and her mother were actually very similar – they both communicated the same way. In anger, they yell, call each other names, and say things they sometimes regret once they’ve had a chance to cool down.
Understanding that Shannon’s mother likely learned how to communicate from similar patterns with her own mother, Gil has been working on improving communication within their home and breaking the cycle of not listening to each other and recognizing what the other needs. Shannon wants to be heard and her mother doesn’t understand that she isn’t always listening. Gil has helped facilitate productive communication between the two, which has helped Shannon reduce her impulsive and angry behavior. Little gestures have made an impact in the quality of their relationship and the way they interact with each other - gestures that show Shannon that her mother is willing to listen and address her needs.
Shannon’s mom loves her, but the angry communication patterns that she learned from her own mother has had an impact on Shannon – and, with Gil’s help, they are breaking the generational cycle of unhealthy conflict and are glad to be building a more positive relationship that will nurture each other’s needs, one day at a time.
It takes many partners who share our vision of a future where every child and family thrives to keep our mission alive.
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